FAITH

We live by FAITH and NOT by sight!! Words to live by and often times words that are hard to stay true to. Last month I was some amazing news about receiving a job! I was also told that I would be receiving a follow up phone call that would inform me of my beginning my NEO (new employee orientation) process. I was also informed that the job would officially start at the end of January. I was definitely okay with that and was indeed looking forward to starting my new CAREER!! It is now the end of January and I have yet to receive the information on when my NEO process would officially begin. The process itself will take a few weeks because I must have my fingerprints done, take a TB test, have a physical done, and finally go through one week of job training. I have been very patient and diligent in the process, but now I am beginning to become discouraged about the job. I told myself that I would be patient and wait until it was my time. I'm not sure if I can sit around much longer waiting on a reply, response, phone call, or something. I don't want to start the job searching process all over again, but a sister as got to do what a sister has got to do!! I will continue to keep my head up and push forward!! PEACE AND BLESSINGS

MY CULTURAL PLUNGE

Last weekend I had to immerse myself in another culture for my Master's Program. Of course I chose a culture that would challenge me to the fullest! I chose the disabled culture. I was a paraplegic for 24 hours. Being confined to a wheelchair was definitely an eye opening experience. Often times we take for granted the simple joys of life, like being able to use the restroom by ourselves, walking, and even the full meaning of being independent. I am the main caregiver in my home, taking care of my mom, my 90 year old granddad, and my younger sister. But, to have the tables turned around was definitely an experience I was not ready for. I briefly sat down with my family and explained to them what I was doing and that I would be needing their help. In the beginning my family was very helpful, but as time went on I realized that this task was something that I was going to have to face alone. My lil' sister was very helpful, she even helped me get the restroom at 3 o'clock in the morning. But, as Sunday morning came it seemed as if my disability had been forgotten. I am someone who wakes up pretty early in the morning, but because I was immersing myself in this plunge I could not get up and maneuver like I usually do. I lay in my bed until 11am when I realized that no one was going to come in and check on me. My greatest fear had come to look me straight in my face. At one point during the morning I actually became sad and even a bit depressed. I prayed that this experience would not be my reality because I knew that I would not be happy. I wheeled myself onto my front porch and spent about 30 minutes just thinking. In those few minutes I experienced a bevy of emotions that I did not realize, but definitely understood. I felt anger, sadness, frustration, and even disgust. I felt like my family had forgotten about me. I am a very strong individual and my family views me as such, but at that very moment I felt vulnerable. A sense of fear had set in that scared me and brought a few tears to my eyes. To know that my family would not be able to give me the type of care that I needed was scary. It was like they were completely oblivious to my needs. It was 12pm and still no one had even come to check on me. But, I was determined to get through this day with or without the help of my family. All I can say is this.......BE GRATEFUL FOR ALL THAT YOU HAVE!! ......PEACE AND BLESSINGS!!

MY RAINBOW

There's an old saying that the RAINBOW comes after the storm. I'm patiently waiting for my RAINBOW. I've been in the midst of a storm for the past few days and I am soaking wet!! (lol) You never truly know how strong you are until you experience something you have never experienced. As you all know I have been dealing with my mom and her various levels of depression. It has been a very difficult four years, but I have remained strong and kept my head held high. My PATIENCE and FAITH have been steadfast and I have even surprised myself. Through this journey I have realized who my real friends are and AREN'T!! I have decided to leave many in the wind and it feels damn good. Truthfully it hurts, but it doesn't surprise me because loyalty is far and few these days. Regardless of the storms I have been through GOD has shown me my RAINBOW and I must admit.......IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING!! A vision of LOVELINESS. You could even say a sight for sore eyes. But I know that soon the RAINBOW that I have been waiting for will be withing my grasp.....And when it is....I AM GOING TO HOLD ON TIGHT!! MY WORDS TO U....FIND YOUR RAINBOW...I'VE JUST FOUND MINE!! PEACE AND BLESSINGS