A BITTER SWEET MOMENT

So I haven't shared a post that has been really personal lately, but today seems fitting to do just that. My previous entries usually entail stories about my daughter, my mom, and life. I have rarely, if ever spoken about my biological father and the fact that I have an older brother. Well over the last few months my life has transformed dramatically. I have opened myself up to the New Possibilities of life. One of those possibilities was re-connecting with my Brother after 35 years. And really you can say for the first time ever. The possibility was created because I decided to re-establish my Facebook after my AMAZING FRIENDS from my LANDMARK ADVANCED COURSE asked me to be UNREASONABLE and get another account after years of not having one. Sure  enough after about 3 weeks of having my account I get a Facebook Messenger message. Never in a million years would I had thought it would be my brother. Even as the pic and name popped up the idea of it being my brother wasn't even a thought. I looked at the name and figured it was one of my friends from elementary school or high school. I look at the profile and the pic and I'm like "Nope don't know this person." And I clicked off the page. So I go back and re-read the message....Well hello. If this is who it is I have been looking for you for quite some time now and I look forward to seeing you soon....I sat there for a second and responded with....And  who do you think I am?....I waited for a reply and when it came I was blown away.....My sister if you have a father named Michael... I couldn't believe the words I was reading across my screen. Long story short we re-connected and last night was the night when we officially met each other. We met and talked and drank and ate for 4 hours. I couldn't stop staring at him every time he smiled because he looks JUST LIKE OUR DAD!!! We talked about life and family and friends that we both have in common. We laughed and it was just a surreal moment for me. The bitter part came during the conversation when I asked how Dad was doing and he had this look like this wasn't an answer he wanted to give me right here. My dad passed away a year ago and when he told me that I just sat there. After my dad and I stopped speaking again in 2009 after a short lived relationship that was VERY NON-EXISTENT I would regret the fact that I allowed my anger to throw away all of his contact information. I had given up on trying to establish a relationship but, I would wonder if anything ever happened to him how would I know. I didn't have a relationship with anyone on my dad's side. But, no matter how non-existent our relationship was, he was still my father and it did hit me when I was driving home that my father was no longer here and that I wasn't going to get another chance to make amends with him. But, I am ok because I have my brother now and I feel like I can learn so much more from him about my dad. I am GRATEFUL AND SITTING ON A CLOUD NINE. Well until we meet again.
Peace and Blessings.

In The Presence Of Grace

Gratitude and Grace is always available to us and they both exist in the HERE AND NOW. Gratitude shifts our focus from all that occurs to be missing in our lives. It opens up our perspective. Optimism shifts when our perspective changes and Grace begins to renew itself with every breath. Gratitude is NOT Entitlement because if we perceive the positive things in life as what we deserve then we do not show Gratitude. Entitlement is simply a disguise for selfishness.  Being Grateful comes naturally,  but at times stubborn beliefs and or your perspective can get in the way. Gratitude is more than just "counting your blessings" and "feeling fortunate". Gratitude is more than an emotion. Gratitude empowers us to see the possibilities in our lives through FRESH EYES or A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.


Whether we know it or not Gratitude leads us to Grace. And Grace exists in EVERY MOMENT. There is a gift in every moment whether GOOD or BAD. Often times when things go bad we don't feel supported and we feel alone. But, we are not alone. We are supported in many ways. That is why PERSPECTIVE is key. Showing Gratitude opens up and expands your perspective.


Gratitude and Grace can transform any experience for you. And you have the power to transform an experience for someone else. BE A BLESSING TO SOMEONE. WE MUST LEARN TO SEE LIFE WITH GRATEFUL EYES. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN.... PEACE AND BLESSINGS

The Power Of Being Present

The BEST GIFT you can ever give yourself and others is the ability to be AUTHENTIC. Simply being who you are in every moment you have in life. The present moment is the only REAL constant that we have, so being present to every moment is extremely important. When you are present to every moment, you gain a sense of gratitude that allows you to see life in a NEW WAY. Your perspective shifts to one of Gratitude and that gratitude clears a space for GRACE to take precedence in your life. You are the author of your own story called LIFE. You can start a new chapter at any point and time that you choose. You have the possibility of creating and living a life that no one else can live.


Everything begins inside of your awareness. Having awareness allows you to take control of your life and the reality that you create for yourself. It is important that you know and understand that you are the SOUL SOURCE of every quality that establishes who you are. Once you accept and become complete with that reality than you will realize that only you can be the author of your life. Each of us as HUMAN BEINGS are unique in who we are. We are unique in how we see the world, and in how we experience the world. For example two people can get up and go outside to pick up the morning paper from the yard and have two totally separate experiences. What I mean by that is this......  One individual will go outside and pick up the paper, walk back in the house and think nothing else about the experience. While the other individual will go outside to pick up the paper and be much more present to the entire experience. They will feel the morning breeze and hear the chirping of the birds, the neighbors next door and anything else that they may be present to. So, as you can see two people can experience the same situation in two totally different realities. Ultimately, LIFE BROADENS when you EXPAND your AWARENESS. These privileged moments are BEAUTIFUL and cannot be replaced.


No one like you has ever been created and you cannot be replaced. Through inner growth and awareness you can see and accept this truth and OWN IT. Expanded awareness has the ability to enhance your well-being on all levels. When you become present to the HERE AND NOW it all begins to make sense. You become complete and whole. Living in this state of awareness is the greatest level of Freedom and opens the soul to so much more. 


Be at peace and Be complete with who you authentically are. It will be the difference between living a life filled with PEACE AND FREEDOM and a life where you are constantly searching and yearning for more being unfulfilled. It is YOUR CHOICE. However, living a life of HAPPINESS, PEACE, FREEDOM and LOVE is a life we all are DESERVING of.


PEACE AND BLESSINGS.....