Getting Off The Fence

It is such a beautiful day outside today. As the sun shines down on my face, I am able to soak in the blessings that God has bestowed upon me. I have been in such a transitional space these last few months and it has been quite a humbling learning experience. I've hit some amazing highs and some definite lows, but I can definitely say without a doubt that I am still standing. At one point I would constantly wake up with questions on my mind about where my life was headed, what road was the best road to take to get there, and if I was making the right decisions especially when things just didn't seem to be working out in my favor. I just couldn't get out of my own head and I can guarantee that that is not a good place to be. So I decided to take a step back for a minute and decide what it is I wanted to do. It was my moment of truth. That moment when I needed to make a decision about what it was that I truly wanted and accept what has already come to pass. I was definitely straddling the fence on what my next move was going to be. Having options can be a good thing, but it can definitely be stressful as well. But, I knew that in order for me to create a plan of action I had to first know what it is I am trying to accomplish.

Life can be funny like that sometimes. You prepare for what you think is how it's supposed to be and then life throws you a curve ball. However, that isn't always a bad thing. I had someone say to me recently.." Mishaps sometimes set you up for something bigger. And it was meant for something to not happen so that something else does." And at that moment everything made complete and total sense to me. For that reason, questioning everything that did and didn't happen was just really counterproductive to everything I am trying to accomplish. It became that moment of clarity when being in my own way was evident. That moment when I needed to sit my ass still and let the universe do its work. It was time to sew a few seeds and sit back and see what manifests while putting my words to work and stand in the faith I tell so many others to stand in. 

I have to accept what did not work out and decide what will and do the work to ensure that it all works out. But, in order to do that I definitely cannot straddle the fence. There goes that perfectionist in me that wants to prove that I can make it work. And then reality sets in and life isn't moving any slower while I am sitting around trying to prove a point. And for what? Exactly NO ONE but myself. And that point only matters to me because I don't want to feel like I failed. Unfortunately, that inner battle is not one worth fighting for, so I will have to defer that energy to something more productive. 

The Ego is a strong characteristic that we all carry. And that's okay. We just need to remember to keep that little piece of us in check and remember what is important and what matters and not what is desired. Because at the end of the day each and everyone of us will have to wake up and look in the mirror and love and accept who we are and the choices we have made in life whether good or bad. 

Until we meet again MY FRIENDS... PEACE and BLESSINGS.

The Feeling of Defeat

We all set goals in life and want nothing more than to achieve those goals. But, what happens when we don't? A bunch of emotions set in that all seem overwhelming and sometimes paralyzing. Leaving us in a place of frustration and confusion. Feeling less than and often times feeling defeated. How do we overcome this feeling? How do we not become stagnant worrying about the shoulda, coulda, woulda's? Focused on all of the things that we simply cannot change. I've been pondering this for a few weeks now because I have found myself struggling with this very dilemma. What seems to frustrate me more is that I believe that the goal I set was very attainable. Maybe not quite as easy as I anticipated, but definitely achievable. However, the results that I received were not quite the results I was  looking for. But, like the old saying goes, "Every cloud has a silver lining." There was definitely a lesson learned from the situation and that is what is most important. Although the desired goal was not achieved, it does not mean that it cannot be achieved. Better planning is definitely key and expecting the unexpected is important as well. 

I still struggle with what could have been, but that doesn't help the situation much. It doesn't help me to create a space of openness to what is to come because I'm too focused on the past and what I can't change. It's important to remember that looking backwards doesn't allow you to focus on moving forward. What cannot be changed must be left behind so that a space is created for what is to come. And although it sounds easy and as I type these very words to my readers out there, I still find it a struggle to not feel all of these things. Funny thing is, is that I can sit here and recognize it and see the humor in it. I'm not in denial of my flaws surprisingly. I accept them and by doing that it allows me to move forward and focus on what matters. That would seem like an oxymoron considering the fact that I can be a perfectionist in specific areas of my life. Oh the things that make my world go round.

Amazingly so, I now find myself moving towards a place of acceptance for the the journey I am now on. And that is in fact the first step in moving forward. Accepting what has happened and not happened and choosing to move forward is the most important step in the process. It shows that one does not feel defeated, but in fact empowered to push forward and continue towards the goal. There are various ways to get things done. So maybe this just means you need to re-group and create another game plan. Using what didn't work the previous time to figure out what can possibly work the next time. The failed opportunity is not really a negative thing if you really analyze and pay attention to the small lessons that come out of them. Most times it teaches you something about yourself. You gain self-awareness and are afforded the opportunity to be more aligned with what is yours by divine right. You can create another game plan that is now more closely related to who you are and what it is you need and not what you solely desire. 

In life everything is about perspective and how you react to the ups and downs of this crazy roller coaster we call life. Remember, do not let your emotions get the best of you. Making decisions in an emotional state is definitely not a good place to be in. In addition, focusing on the past doesn't leave much space for you to focus on what is to come. Be patient but diligent in making decisions and creating a game plan. Be prepared for completion of your goal but, also be mindful of hitting a couple of snags along the way. But, most importantly ALWAYS remember to KEEP YOUR HEAD UP and continue to move forward. Be GRATEFUL for every opportunity whether GOOD or NOT SO GOOD. Nothing worth having will come easy and anything easy isn't worth having. 

Until we meet again PEACE ans BLESSINGS.....