As 2010 has come to a close, I can now take a deep breath and do a bit of reflection. This has definitely been a tumultuous year, with ups and downs, twists and turns, and definite heart wrenching woes. As always GOD has brought me through another season. I’ve been through sleepless nights filled with wet pillow cases from tears of pain and heartache. I’ve watched my mom within the past 3 1/2 years loose her peace of mind and spirit. I’ve watched my granddad age gracefully while battling with Prostate Cancer and a rare form of MS. I was forced outta of a good job once my family turned ownership back over to corporate, I lost my car, and I damn near lost my mind. But the event that changed not my life but me was my marriage which is now pending the finalization of DIVORCE. This was a word I never thought I would hear and papers I never thought I would have to see. It all happened soo fast, while the endurance of all maintaining my emotions seemed like a never ending process.
Now when I say my marriage and my divorce changed not my life, but me, what I mean is that it made me take a deep, hard, soul awakening look at myself. Who I was, who I have been, and who people expect me to be. But the question that I never asked myself is that of all those things who is it that I want to be. As I looked into that mirror and saw deep within my soul and realized that the person I saw, was NO MORE. I was no longer to be the person everyone else wanted to be, but it was time to be the person I needed me to be, the person that has always been me. And now the journey will begin.
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