Getting Off The Fence

It is such a beautiful day outside today. As the sun shines down on my face, I am able to soak in the blessings that God has bestowed upon me. I have been in such a transitional space these last few months and it has been quite a humbling learning experience. I've hit some amazing highs and some definite lows, but I can definitely say without a doubt that I am still standing. At one point I would constantly wake up with questions on my mind about where my life was headed, what road was the best road to take to get there, and if I was making the right decisions especially when things just didn't seem to be working out in my favor. I just couldn't get out of my own head and I can guarantee that that is not a good place to be. So I decided to take a step back for a minute and decide what it is I wanted to do. It was my moment of truth. That moment when I needed to make a decision about what it was that I truly wanted and accept what has already come to pass. I was definitely straddling the fence on what my next move was going to be. Having options can be a good thing, but it can definitely be stressful as well. But, I knew that in order for me to create a plan of action I had to first know what it is I am trying to accomplish.

Life can be funny like that sometimes. You prepare for what you think is how it's supposed to be and then life throws you a curve ball. However, that isn't always a bad thing. I had someone say to me recently.." Mishaps sometimes set you up for something bigger. And it was meant for something to not happen so that something else does." And at that moment everything made complete and total sense to me. For that reason, questioning everything that did and didn't happen was just really counterproductive to everything I am trying to accomplish. It became that moment of clarity when being in my own way was evident. That moment when I needed to sit my ass still and let the universe do its work. It was time to sew a few seeds and sit back and see what manifests while putting my words to work and stand in the faith I tell so many others to stand in. 

I have to accept what did not work out and decide what will and do the work to ensure that it all works out. But, in order to do that I definitely cannot straddle the fence. There goes that perfectionist in me that wants to prove that I can make it work. And then reality sets in and life isn't moving any slower while I am sitting around trying to prove a point. And for what? Exactly NO ONE but myself. And that point only matters to me because I don't want to feel like I failed. Unfortunately, that inner battle is not one worth fighting for, so I will have to defer that energy to something more productive. 

The Ego is a strong characteristic that we all carry. And that's okay. We just need to remember to keep that little piece of us in check and remember what is important and what matters and not what is desired. Because at the end of the day each and everyone of us will have to wake up and look in the mirror and love and accept who we are and the choices we have made in life whether good or bad. 

Until we meet again MY FRIENDS... PEACE and BLESSINGS.