FAITH

We live by FAITH and NOT by sight!! Words to live by and often times words that are hard to stay true to. Last month I was some amazing news about receiving a job! I was also told that I would be receiving a follow up phone call that would inform me of my beginning my NEO (new employee orientation) process. I was also informed that the job would officially start at the end of January. I was definitely okay with that and was indeed looking forward to starting my new CAREER!! It is now the end of January and I have yet to receive the information on when my NEO process would officially begin. The process itself will take a few weeks because I must have my fingerprints done, take a TB test, have a physical done, and finally go through one week of job training. I have been very patient and diligent in the process, but now I am beginning to become discouraged about the job. I told myself that I would be patient and wait until it was my time. I'm not sure if I can sit around much longer waiting on a reply, response, phone call, or something. I don't want to start the job searching process all over again, but a sister as got to do what a sister has got to do!! I will continue to keep my head up and push forward!! PEACE AND BLESSINGS

MY CULTURAL PLUNGE

Last weekend I had to immerse myself in another culture for my Master's Program. Of course I chose a culture that would challenge me to the fullest! I chose the disabled culture. I was a paraplegic for 24 hours. Being confined to a wheelchair was definitely an eye opening experience. Often times we take for granted the simple joys of life, like being able to use the restroom by ourselves, walking, and even the full meaning of being independent. I am the main caregiver in my home, taking care of my mom, my 90 year old granddad, and my younger sister. But, to have the tables turned around was definitely an experience I was not ready for. I briefly sat down with my family and explained to them what I was doing and that I would be needing their help. In the beginning my family was very helpful, but as time went on I realized that this task was something that I was going to have to face alone. My lil' sister was very helpful, she even helped me get the restroom at 3 o'clock in the morning. But, as Sunday morning came it seemed as if my disability had been forgotten. I am someone who wakes up pretty early in the morning, but because I was immersing myself in this plunge I could not get up and maneuver like I usually do. I lay in my bed until 11am when I realized that no one was going to come in and check on me. My greatest fear had come to look me straight in my face. At one point during the morning I actually became sad and even a bit depressed. I prayed that this experience would not be my reality because I knew that I would not be happy. I wheeled myself onto my front porch and spent about 30 minutes just thinking. In those few minutes I experienced a bevy of emotions that I did not realize, but definitely understood. I felt anger, sadness, frustration, and even disgust. I felt like my family had forgotten about me. I am a very strong individual and my family views me as such, but at that very moment I felt vulnerable. A sense of fear had set in that scared me and brought a few tears to my eyes. To know that my family would not be able to give me the type of care that I needed was scary. It was like they were completely oblivious to my needs. It was 12pm and still no one had even come to check on me. But, I was determined to get through this day with or without the help of my family. All I can say is this.......BE GRATEFUL FOR ALL THAT YOU HAVE!! ......PEACE AND BLESSINGS!!

MY RAINBOW

There's an old saying that the RAINBOW comes after the storm. I'm patiently waiting for my RAINBOW. I've been in the midst of a storm for the past few days and I am soaking wet!! (lol) You never truly know how strong you are until you experience something you have never experienced. As you all know I have been dealing with my mom and her various levels of depression. It has been a very difficult four years, but I have remained strong and kept my head held high. My PATIENCE and FAITH have been steadfast and I have even surprised myself. Through this journey I have realized who my real friends are and AREN'T!! I have decided to leave many in the wind and it feels damn good. Truthfully it hurts, but it doesn't surprise me because loyalty is far and few these days. Regardless of the storms I have been through GOD has shown me my RAINBOW and I must admit.......IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING!! A vision of LOVELINESS. You could even say a sight for sore eyes. But I know that soon the RAINBOW that I have been waiting for will be withing my grasp.....And when it is....I AM GOING TO HOLD ON TIGHT!! MY WORDS TO U....FIND YOUR RAINBOW...I'VE JUST FOUND MINE!! PEACE AND BLESSINGS

CHASING MY DREAMS

I've decided to make some life changing decisions going into 2012. FAITH WITHOUT WORK IS DEAD!! GOD has bestowed upon me some amazing gifts and it is time for me to STOP BULLSHITTIN AND MAKE IT HAPPEN! I am currently in the process of self-publishing my first book and I am excited. This has been a life long dream of mine. I've been writing since the 6th grade. My teacher Mr. Meyers opened me up to a whole new world and I THANK HIM FOR THAT!! I have some amazing plans in the making and I am exciting. I will definitely be making some changes in 2012. All will be for the better. As you all know this has been a very strenuous year for me, but with GOD's grace and define intervention I have prevailed to see another year and I am humbled. I am truly blessed. My life is heading in a different direction and My Lord and Saviour has already given me a sneak preview of what's to come. Well I wish you all well and HAVE A BLESSED AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Coming Full Circle

Life is a funny thing sometimes. It's amazing how GOD will bring you full circle, right back to a place where you once were. Leaving you with questions you thought you already had the answers to. A time when you question everything you once knew. It is actually a time of growth and awareness. Just when you think you have it all figured out you realize that you really ain't figured out shit!! LOL.... I find myself taking a step back and actually laughing at the situation.  I am aware of the humor that lays within it all. Please don't get me wrong, it is not always a laughable situation, but in that very moment it becomes something that you can't explain, but you definitely understand it. Sometimes I often ask myself if I have made the right choices in my life. I look at where I am, where I've been and where I'm going. Truth is I have many answers, but the only one I can't really find the true answer to, is where I am going. Although I have a plan for where I would like to be GOD has a much different plan for me. I understand that in those moments it is not always about finding the answers to unanswered questions, it is about listening. Coming Full Circle is a life changing process if you are willing to listen.

CHASING MY DREAMS!!

SO I am finally chasing my dreams. I have been a part of this rat race for many and this last year has been the worst. I have sent out over 200 resumes and I can count on one hand the number of interviews I have been on. It is frustrating and deep in my heart I know that I am not a nine to five type person with the lifestyle I live. I need to be flexible and accessible at all times and being restricted to punching a clock day in and day out is NOT my ultimate LIFE GOAL!! I recently my first novel and I am excited. I had no clue which direction to go, but with the help of a GOOD FRIEND, I was led in the right direction. With the knowledge that was bestowed upon me, I have decided to self-publish my first book and really get a BUZZ going out there. I was BLESSED with a plethora of information that was somewhat overwhelming, but I am ready to do what needs to be done. I am excited. I know that this is my DREAM AND MY GIFT. And it is time to stop wasting both my talent and my time. I will definitely keep you call posted. Peace and Blessings!!!

RANDOMNESS

 I've got a multitude of thoughts going through my head right now. I had a conversation last week that put some things into perspective for me. I was informed that my book can actually be published within 30 days. And I can publish it myself. I hope and pray that I get the SUPPORT I need from my friends, family, and even those that I do not know. This past year has definitely been a journey, but GOD keeps HIS hand on me at all times. I am forever grateful and indebted to my LORD AND SAVIOUR.
On some other randomness I may be getting a job soon. I am definitely excited about that considering it will be generating some additional funds into my pocket.........
Ok more randomness. As I'm sitting here blogging I get a text about a major move with the Lakers acquiring Chris Paul for Odom and Gasol. Ok now I'm back focused......No I'm not I'm lying. lololol........ So on that note I'm gonna cut it short and get back with you all later!!!