A PROUD MOMENT

It's an amazing feeling as a parent when you re able to witness TRIUMP AND SUCCESS with your children. My daughter has been NATIONALLY ranked for the last 3 years and I have watched and experienced with her the amazing journey that has taken place. She has made me soo proud as a parent that It IS MY HONOR TO BE HER MOTHER!! NOT ONLY DID SHE COMPETE WELL TODAY but she also BROKE THE TEAM RECORD, WHICH IS ALSO THE LEAGUE AND CONFERENCE RECORD. I have watched her work extremely hard and this has been her GOAL FOR QUITE SOME TIME. I actually shed a tear because I was soo proud of her!! She makes me want to be a BETTER PERSON. SHE PUSHES ME TO DO BETTER, not only for myself but for her as well. Like I have said time and time again, IT OS NOT ONLY US WHO TEACHES OUR KIDS, BUT IT IS ALSO OUR CHILDREN WHO TEACH US!! YOU ARE NEVER TO OLD TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW AND THAT IS THE AMAZING PART OF LIFE THAT MAKES IT ALL UNIQUE!!

The Importance Of Me Time

It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. But, we can't forget the importance of "Me Time". That's those certain times when you decide to just "Do You". Those moments when you take in a movie by yourself, or go get all dressed up and treat yourself to a nice dinner and a drink. It's just those times when we take the time to reflect and just look back on all that has happened and the things that we have learned. But, most importantly it is that moment when we take the time to get to know and appreciate who we are as individuals. We learn to reacquaint yourself with yourself. Sounds kind of crazy, but it helps to bring us back to our main focal point, which at the end of the day is US!! I know to some it may sound selfish, but it's not. You have to take a time out every now and then and RE-CHARGE. As HUMAN BEINGS we give soo much to others that we forget to give to ourselves. You can't depend on someone else to supply ALL of your needs. You have to learn to appreciate yourself just as much as you expect the next person to. Don't forget about yourself. SELF-LOVE is something that is AMAZING and it opens the door and our heart to be able to allow someone else to LOVE US!! Peace and Blessings

BUSY LITTLE BEE

I know I haven't been on here in a while but there's been a lot going on. I've started a new class in my program and my mom came back home last week. That has definitely been an experience in itself. My mom has been doing very well and I am proud of her. I've been trying to stay positive and help her keep things in perspective, but that gets hard at times and I just have to seperate myself. It's an adjustment for my mom coming home and I understand that, but it's also an adjustment for me as well and the rest of the family. GOD is never going to give me more than I can bare and I understand that. Things are aligning themselves and I feel GOD's presence in my life. I see the POWER in HIS PLAN and I have learned to stop questioning everything and just move diligently in HIS purpose. It's never about the plan that we have for ourselves, but it's about the plan that HE has for us. Only a few people in this world truly understand that concept and actually live in that same belief. It's easier said than done and it's definitely a long road travelled. It is crazy because I have watched her do ALL of the things that at one point she had lost the desire to do, yet she still lives in her depression and she feels as if all that she is doing is just setting her back. She is soo hard on herself and I try to show her how AMAZING she is doing, but she doesn't se it and she tells me to just leave her be. I can't do more for her than she is willing to do for herself and I've had to learn that the hard way. So it is now my time to DO ME!! RE-ESTABLISH myself and follow my dreams. They have been deferred too long.

Time 2 FLY!!

It has been a rough 24 hours for me. My mom is back home and I am happy. She is definitely back to her old self. She's moving around doing things in the house. It's a bit overwhelming for her at times but I remind her to slow down and take it all in stride. You can't catch up with everything all at once and that it is a process that will take time Her thinking is still a bit off but she's getting back to where she needs to be. I just keep reminding her that she is okay. But, yesterday her and I had words and she said some things that really got to me and I had to leave the house for a couple of hours. I love my mom with all of my heart, but yesterday I believe was the last straw for me. It is time for me to do my own thing now. I have been flooded with a burst of multiple emotions and before I can allow it to overwhelm me, I must now get up and do what is best for me. The space that I am in I have now outgrown and it is time for me to now move forward. It is time for me to stretch my wings and take my own journey through this thing we call life.

BITTERSWEET HOMECOMING

My mom came home today and it was bittersweet. When I went to pick her up from the facility she didn't believe that we were going home. She thought it was a game and she was like where are we going? I reassured her over and over and again that we were indeed going home. As soon as she walked outside she became nervous. She said all the cars looked old and she felt like she had been away for a long time. She immediately asked for some cigs and  a drink and I had to laugh to myself as I drove home. She was happy to be home, but then I began to see her become very nervous. It's like she was living in the past and it seemed as if this was all a dream. My heart cried out for her because I just wanted my mom to be happy. I wanted her spirit and her mind to be at ease. I prayed for her to have internal and eternal peace. I sometimes wonder if that is even possible for her because she doesn't believe it is even possible for herself. Keep her in your prayers and always remember that THROUGH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE...

GOALS AND ASPIRATIONS

As I am making my transition through life I have come to reassess my GOALS and ASPIRATIONS. I have started writing again and I am excited about it. I am currently writing 2 books. One is an Urban novel and the other is  novel with a compilation of short stories of the ADULT nature. So often we get caught up and lost in the whirlwind of life that we forget who WE ARE as individuals because we are too busy being what everyone else needs us to be. I love my family and my friends, but for so long I have made sure that those around me have been more happy and taken care of than me. Unfortunately, at the end of the day I am constantly forced to look at myself in the mirror. I have done a lot of soul searching and I have come to a point in my life where I am ready to get back to me. Doing the important things that I have sacrificed to take care of those around me. My daughter is coming of age and she definitely needs me at my BEST. I am GRATEFUL that GOD has continuously placed HIS HANDS on me. It is a very HUMBLING experience and definitely a LEARNING process. But the person that GOD has shown me is AN AMAZIN BEING!!!

Hey all it's been a while since I have posted something and I apologize for neglecting you all. My mom is still in the hospital and I am taking care of my household. My granddad is doing better and he is wanting to get out of the house more and more now. I have promised to get him out more because I didn't know that he wanted to get out. I would take care of him and let him rest at the house because he hasn't been well.  But, now that I know I will definitely be getting him out of the house. It has been hard to see my mom but I go see her about 3-4 days a week. I try to stay positive and I will not let my mom see my pain and tears. I hold myself together and STAND STRONG!! I have a responsibility and I can't break down now! I must continue to do what must be done. I have my good days and my bad days. But, God brings me through to a new day. I am evolving on all levels of my life and I am definitely learning. I do deal with some heavy regret with specific life decisions, but I understand it all now. The learning process is never ending and I am HUMBLE. I've learned to stop focusing on what I don't have and begin recognizing the BLESSINGS that I do have. I am an amazing counselor to others, but a horrible listener for myself. (LOL) But, that's usually how it always goes. As always GOD IS GOD and PEACE AND BLESSINGS!!

It's amazing how GOD will place certain people around you that are specific to your process of life. I have been BLESSED with soo mant BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING people and I am truly grateful. I have been on a cloud. My mom has shown some small signs of improvement and I am grateful for that. As long as there is progress I am happy. To see her in the state she has been has been very difficult but GOD continuously keeps HIS hand on me I couldn't be more excited. I have 2 weddings to attend in April and I may be taking a little vacation this summer as well. School is going exceptionally well. My GPA is 3.84 and I couldn't be happier. I also will be cdelebrating 34 years of life on this AMAZING PLANET. Hope all of my FRIENDS and FAMILY will be there to celebrate. I will keep you posted with any details. I haven't decided if I'm going to have a backyard boogie down or just hit the streets for the weekend. But whatever it is "It's got to BE FUNKY!!" Well until we meet again. PEACE AND BLESSINGS